Archer's Day Off
by Brown-Coat
Summary: Hawkeye gets a much-deserved break.


Hawkeye stretched his arms and put his feet up on the glass table.

"Please remove your feet from that surface." JARVIS's annoyed voice said from...well, from everywhere

"Easy there, Voicebox. Today's my day off." Clint grinned as he kept his feet on the table.

"Very well..." JARVIS said, then silenced. That immediately made Clint uneasy. Pretty soon, a low-level electric shock traveled through the table into his feet. Clint jolted and pulled his feet off of the table.

Clint glared at the nearest speaker for a moment before laying his head back in his hands.

"I know you love me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." JARVIS responded.

Hawkeye leaned back into the couch he was sprawled across. He sat in the silence for a few minutes. Then he got bored.

Clint jumped to his feet and decided to go bug Tony and Bruce. They'd be in the lab.

"Hey, geek-heads." He said cheerfully as he stepped into the lab. Bruce glanced up at him and Tony ignored him. "How's my entourage?"

"We're not your entourage, Clint. If anything, you're mine." Stark said before refocusing on his work.

"You're not? Could've fooled me." Clint grinned smugly and tinkered with something that was mostly likely extremely volatile and dangerous.

Tony sighed from across the fairly spacious room and spoke into one of his ever-present gadgets.

"JARVIS? Would you kindly remove Hawkeye from my lab? And while you're at it, take Dummy with you." Clint glanced over to see the robot Tony had indicated and saw it had donned its "Dunce" hat once again.

"Easy, Colonel Perfect Hair. I'm going, I'm going." Clint held up his hands slightly and backed out of the lab.

Hawkeye wandered around for a while before deciding to look for Steve. "Hey Jukebox, where's the Cap?"

"He's looking into a lead on the Hydra organization. I'm afraid you'll just have to bother him some other time."

"How about Thor?"

"Thor is in his room. He seems to be under the effect of one of Mr. Stark's early failed gamma experiments. I would advise against-"

"You can't tell a hawk what to do, JARVIS."

"I'm afraid that the sport of Falconry proves you wrong on that point."

Hawkeye briskly moved toward Thor's room, then gently knocked on the door. "Hey Goldilocks. How's it going?" He asked in what he assumed was an innocent voice as his towering teammate opened the door a crack.

"What is it that you seek?" He asked gruffly.

"I'm just looking for someone to talk to."

"Direct thy search elsewhere." He grunted and shut the door.

Clint stood there for a moment, then pounded on the door.

"WHAT?!" Thor yelled in an uncharacteristically angry way.

"I just wanted to say that Cap thinks your cape is secretly a reserve shower curtain." Clint watched as the Asgardian fumed, before he started to lumber toward him. Menacingly. "Hey! It was Steve!" Apparently Tony's experiment was working much better than had been expected(or Thor had recently come back from a meeting with the All [ways disappointed] Father), because he merely bellowed a battle cry and charged the archer.

Hawkeye let out a small yell of fright before turning and running down the hallway. He turned to the right, and heard Thor's thudding footsteps gain speed behind him.

_"Hidehidehidehidehide..."_ Clint muttered to himself in a panic. He threw open the first door he saw and dove in, slamming the door behind him.

"Clint?" A voice yelled from behind him. "What are you doing?" Clint rolled over onto his back and looked into the somewhat angry eyes of Black Widow.

"Oh, you know. Just..." he heard several things break as Thor passed the door in an angsty huff, "...hiding."

Natasha shook her head in exasperation.

"You insulted his cape again, didn't you?"

"You can't prove that." he replied.

"You can't hide in here again. I have important stuff to do." Natasha stated matter-of-factly. Clint looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Watching Firefly doesn't count as important enough to kick me out."

"Yes it does."

"What episode are you on?" Clint rolled to his feet and moved over to where Natasha was sitting on her bed.

With a resigned sigh, she indicated she was on _The Train Job_ and slid over to accommodate him. For once, Hawkeye was silent.

Four episodes later, the assassins stood up to stretch.

"It's not often you let yourself binge-watch, Nat." Clint remarked after a moment.

"It's even less often that I let a moron like you join me when I binge-watch." She retorted. Clint came up with some bickering remark neither of them bothered to listen to before they both sat back down to start _Jaynestown_. At the end of the episode, Hawkeye felt tired and slouched against the Widow. She sighed and leaned back against him. Clint fell asleep half-way through _Shindig_.

When he woke up, his left side was hanging off of the bed and he couldn't feel his right arm. When he looked at his arm to find the source of the feeling, or lack thereof, he saw Natasha asleep draped over his arm with her head on his shoulder.

"Nat. Nat." He said quietly, trying to wake her. He eventually gave up and laid his head back down.

_Good day._ He thought as he drifted back to sleep.


End file.
